Archive for the ‘Baby Boomer in Nursing Homes,’ Category

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
‘How old was your husband?’ ’98,’ she replied.
‘Two years older than me.’
‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented. !
She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?’

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
‘And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?’ the reporter asked.
She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’
Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’

I’ve sure gotten old!
I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I’m half blind,
can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God,
I still have my driver’s license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor’s permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed.
‘Why Wal-Mart?’
‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.’

My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: ‘Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’
Slim said, ‘I feel just like a newborn baby.’
‘Really!? Like a newborn baby?’
‘Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.’

Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It’s perfect.’
‘Really,’ answered the neighbor. ‘What kind is it?’
‘Twelve thirty’, he replied.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%. He went back in a month and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again..’
The gentleman replied, ‘Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!’

These days about half the stuff
in my shopping cart says,
‘For fast relief.’

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.

Since I have come to live in in the convalescent home  I have had to learn many new things.  Since my last stroke in 2005 I have much difficulty getting everything to move around on my body.  At first I couldn’t even speak clearly, but after much speach therapy I got  better.  I still have trouble , but I have gotten used to the different feeling.  To See what this was like  just pretend sometime  that you can’t move around.  All of the things, you used to do  you now can’t do.  The thought is very scary.  Basically that’s what happens when you have a stroke.  One of the things people don’t realize about a stroke is you have to change your thinking.  As you once moved around without giving it a thought  now requires a great deal of thought and attention to move certain parts of your body.

In fact you have to relearn completely new steps inside your mind to move around.  God  has given us a great machine called the brain.  Believe it or not, you can actually re-program  things that have been damaged.  As for myself, I have chosen to do this. This thinking requires a great deal of effort .  Typically we are not programmed to do this.  So, those who are helping you need to be patient and understanding with you.

I heartily recommend this attitude.  This challenge gives your mind something to focus on.  Mentally, you begin to realize that you can be in control again.  Now, granted the control is not what you are used to having but it is the beginning of a great life adventure.

Check out this Kingston Data Plug in Thumb Drive, so easy to use and so well made!

May 27, 6:05 PM (ET)

By MARIA CHEN

LONDON (AP) – Special stockings commonly given to stroke patients to prevent blood clots don’t work, a new study reported Wednesday.

Doctors often prescribe the tight, thigh-high stockings to patients who have suffered a stroke, seeking to prevent blood clots in patients’ legs – which could prove fatal if they break off and reach the heart or lungs.

About two-thirds of stroke patients can’t walk when admitted to hospital, and up to 20 percent of those patients develop a blood clot in their legs. The stockings squash the legs and force the blood to circulate better, and can be used in place of, or alongside, anti-clotting drugs like heparin.

But in a study of more than 2,500 stroke patients in Australia, Britain and Italy, doctors found the stockings did nothing to reduce the chances of a clot. Not only that, but they caused problems like skin ulcers and blisters.

The results were simultaneously published in the Lancet medical journal and presented at the European Stroke Conference in Stockholm on Wednesday.

Some experts were surprised by the findings.

“We have used these stockings because we assume they work,” said Dr. Ralph Sacco, president-elect of the American Heart Association, who was not linked to the study. “But sometimes you’re surprised when you find out the truth with a randomized trial.”

The stockings have been proven to reduce clots in surgery patients, so experts had long thought the low-cost solution might also help stroke patients.

In the study, about half of the patients got standard care in addition to the stockings. The other half just got standard care. Experts took an ultrasound of patients’ legs after about 7 to 10 days, and then again after 25 to 30 days. About 10 percent of patients in both groups developed blood clots.

In the group wearing stockings, 5 percent reported side effects like skin problems and blisters. That compares to 1 percent in the group not given the stockings.

The study was paid for by Britain’s Medical Research Council, the Scottish government, the health charity Heart and Stroke Scotland, Tyco Healthcare in the United States and the U.K. Stroke Research Network.

In Britain, draft guidelines recommend patients wear the stockings and they are used to treat an estimated 80,000 patients per year. Martin Dennis, of the University of Edinburgh and one of the study authors, said he has contacted British officials to suggest they reconsider their advice.

“This should cause a big change in how patients are treated,” Dennis said, noting that in 2002, 90 percent of stroke units in Britain used the stockings.

In the United States, stockings for stroke patients are far less popular than in the U.K.

Dr. Marc Mayberg, co-director of the Seattle Neuroscience Institute, said he hadn’t recommended the stockings for patients in about 20 years. He said the stockings were cumbersome and difficult for many patients, whose legs were paralyzed, to put on and take off.

Recommendations from the American Heart Association published in 2005 advised doctors to consider using the stockings in addition to an anti-clotting drug, or for patients who can’t take such drugs.

Sacco said American doctors were more likely to use drugs instead of stockings to prevent clots. He thought the guidelines promoting stockings might now have to be revised.

“With this lack of effect, doctors may be much less inclined to use them,” he said.

—_

On the Net:

The Lancet http://www.lancet.com

Why does a diploma from Harvard cost $100,000 more than a similar piece of paper from City College? Why might a BMW cost $25,000 more than a Subaru WRX with equally fast acceleration? Why do “sophisticated” consumers demand 16-gigabyte iPhones and “fair trade” coffee from Starbucks?

If you ask market researchers or advertising executives, you might hear about the difference between “rational” and “emotional” buying decisions, or about products falling into categories like “hedonic” or “utilitarian” or “positional.” But Geoffrey Miller, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of New Mexico, says that even the slickest minds on Madison Avenue are still in the prescientific dark ages.

Instead of running focus groups and spinning theories, he says, marketers could learn more by administering scientifically calibrated tests of intelligence and personality traits. If marketers (or their customers) understood biologists’ new calculations about animals’ “costly signaling,” Dr. Miller says, they’d see that Harvard diplomas and iPhones send the same kind of signal as the ornate tail of a peacock.

Sometimes the message is as simple as “I’ve got resources to burn,” the classic conspicuous waste demonstrated by the energy expended to lift a peacock’s tail or the fuel guzzled by a Hummer. But brand-name products aren’t just about flaunting transient wealth. The audience for our signals — prospective mates, friends, rivals — care more about the permanent traits measured in tests of intelligence and personality, as Dr. Miller explains in his new book, “Spent: Sex, Evolution and Consumer Behavior.”

Suppose, during a date, you casually say, “The sugar maples in Harvard Yard were so beautiful every fall term.” Here’s what you’re signaling, as translated by Dr. Miller:

“My S.A.T. scores were sufficiently high (roughly 720 out of 800) that I could get admitted, so my I.Q. is above 135, and I had sufficient conscientiousness, emotional stability and intellectual openness to pass my classes. Plus, I can recognize a tree.”

Or suppose a young man, after listening to the specifications of the newest iPhone or hearing about a BMW’s “Servotronic variable-ratio power steering,” says to himself, “Those features sound awesome.” Here’s Dr. Miller’s translation:

“Those features can be talked about in ways that will display my general intelligence to potential mates and friends, who will bow down before my godlike technopowers, which rival those of Iron Man himself.”

Most of us will insist there are other reasons for going to Harvard or buying a BMW or an iPhone — and there are, of course. The education and the products can yield many kinds of rewards. But Dr. Miller says that much of the pleasure we derive from products stems from the unconscious instinct that they will either enhance or signal our fitness by demonstrating intelligence or some of the Big Five personality traits: openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, stability and extraversion.

In a series of experiments, Dr. Miller and other researchers found that people were more likely to expend money and effort on products and activities if they were first primed with photographs of the opposite sex or stories about dating.

After this priming, men were more willing to splurge on designer sunglasses, expensive watches and European vacations. Women became more willing to do volunteer work and perform other acts of conspicuous charity — a signal of high conscientiousness and agreeableness, like demonstrating your concern for third world farmers by spending extra for Starbucks’s “fair trade” coffee.

These signals can be finely nuanced, as Dr. Miller parses them in his book. The “conspicuous precision” of a BMW or a Lexus helps signal the intelligence of all the owners, but the BMW’s “conspicuous reputation” also marks its owner as more extraverted and less agreeable (i.e., more aggressive). Owners of Toyotas and Hondas are signaling high conscientiousness by driving reliable and economical cars.

But once you’ve spent the money, once you’ve got the personality-appropriate appliance or watch or handbag, how much good are these signals actually doing you? Not much, Dr. Miller says. The fundamental consumerist delusion, as he calls it, is that purchases affect the way we’re treated.

The grand edifice of brand-name consumerism rests on the narcissistic fantasy that everyone else cares about what we buy. (It’s no accident that narcissistic teenagers are the most brand-obsessed consumers.) But who else even notices? Can you remember what your partner or your best friend was wearing the day before yesterday? Or what kind of watch your boss has?

A Harvard diploma might help get you a date or a job interview, but what you say during the date or conversation will make the difference. An elegantly thin Skagen watch might send a signal to a stranger at a cocktail party or in an airport lounge, but even if it were noticed, anyone who talked to you for just a few minutes would get a much better gauge of your intelligence and personality.

To get over your consuming obsessions, Dr. Miller suggests exercises like comparing the relative costs and pleasures of the stuff you’ve bought. (You can try the exercise at nytimes.com/tierneylab.) It may seem odd that we need these exercises — why would natural selection leave us with such unproductive fetishes? — but Dr. Miller says it’s not surprising.

“Evolution is good at getting us to avoid death, desperation and celibacy, but it’s not that good at getting us to feel happy,” he says, calling our desire to impress strangers a quirky evolutionary byproduct of a smaller social world.

“We evolved as social primates who hardly ever encountered strangers in prehistory,” Dr. Miller says. “So we instinctively treat all strangers as if they’re potential mates or friends or enemies. But your happiness and survival today don’t depend on your relationships with strangers. It doesn’t matter whether you get a nanosecond of deference from a shopkeeper or a stranger in an airport.”