Archive for the ‘Seniors Power!’ Category

I received this in my e-mail…..Vic

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.”

He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

“”He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” – Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second…. if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain
“He use statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening.But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx

this cartoon says it all…vic

This is going to be weird..

But, when many of were younger, we were taught certain things.
Obey your elders,
REspect those older then you,

Yes, I know Im in that generation now.  But I cant tell those younger then Myself to DO THIS anymore.
Its NOT that kids know TECH better then the elders.  Or any of that.
Our elders are SUPPOSED to protect us, teach us, help us LEARN and make us better.
All I see at this time, AS in the past during the religious revolts in Europe, is CORPORATE leadership that is NOT worried about the Consumer/the nation/anything EXCEPT money..
Profit margins have Soared..
Upper wages have gone to the MOON and back..
Those in charge are the Con men of the 60′s and 70′s..
These folks have instigated the changing of LAWS and made BACK DOORS into our pocket books and taxes.
I dont even need to mention ACTA, and trade agreements be done in Back rooms and under the NOSES of our own congress, to be made into LAWS.
LAWS that Threaten your PRIVACY, and the corps dont PAY for the prosecution, YOU DO.  YOU are paying to be searched at the borders for Pirated Movies and music.  They HAVE the right to take ANY electronic device to be SCANNED and used against you.  Insted of FIXING THEIR PROBLEM of making a better distribution system.
WE are PAYING the corps thru our TAXES not to go BROKE, because they SPENT all the money, on WAGES.
We might as well be run by the Mafia.  and its WORSE then being run by the Mafia.

Have fun with this, its just STUPID how our Corps are taking over the world, and WE PAY FOR IT.

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
‘How old was your husband?’ ’98,’ she replied.
‘Two years older than me.’
‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented. !
She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?’

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
‘And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?’ the reporter asked.
She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’
Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’

I’ve sure gotten old!
I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I’m half blind,
can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God,
I still have my driver’s license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor’s permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed.
‘Why Wal-Mart?’
‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.’

My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: ‘Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’
Slim said, ‘I feel just like a newborn baby.’
‘Really!? Like a newborn baby?’
‘Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.’

Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It’s perfect.’
‘Really,’ answered the neighbor. ‘What kind is it?’
‘Twelve thirty’, he replied.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%. He went back in a month and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again..’
The gentleman replied, ‘Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!’

These days about half the stuff
in my shopping cart says,
‘For fast relief.’

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.