Archive for the ‘Surviving after a stroke,’ Category

This will be a 5 part posting of what happened when I had my stroke… this will probably take me several weeks to complete so please bear with me..
My story begins with my third stroke. It happened on the morning of March 9th 2005. I was working at my desk at home and answered a phone call, and I couldn’t speak clearly, and my vision started getting dancing lights. [now I didn't feel like anything was really wrong] I went and laid down and called the doctor. He recommended I take some aspirin and just take it easy [of course this was not the right thing to do]. After a few hours I didn’t get any better so we called 911 and they came and took me to the hospital.

Now I was the kind of guy who figured how bad could this be? I had always been careless with my health… I was taking blood pressure medication [not faithfully ] since I had always had high blood pressure and I also had two previous strokes… you think I would’ve learned a lesson about high blood pressure … donucha know….

Now I was quite a distance from the hospital so it took awhile to get all this done. And of course after I got to the hospital I waited quite a while more, and I got worse the longer I was there it got to the point, I couldn’t move my legs, I was scared. Well it seemed to take a long time for them to figure out I was having a stroke. Now this took place in 2005 you would think they would know better! So they found me a bed and began to give me treat ments.

So, began my adventures in handicap living .

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by f illing it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. – Why doesn’t “Buick” rhyme with “quick?”

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is “UP.”

It’s easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special .

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP;
When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so……. Time to shut UP!

This will be a 5 part posting of what happened when I had my stroke… this will probably take me several weeks to complete so please bear with me…




My story begins with my third stroke. It happened on the morning of March 9th 2005. I was working at my desk at home and answered a phone call, and I couldn’t speak clearly, and my vision started getting dancing lights. [now I didn't feel like anything was really wrong] I went and laid down and called the doctor. He recommended I take some aspirin and just take it easy [of course this was not the right thing to do]. After a few hours I didn’t get any better so we called 911 and they came and took me to the hospital.

Now I was the kind of guy who figured how bad could this be? I had always been careless with my health… I was taking blood pressure medication [not faithfully ] since I had always had high blood pressure and I also had two previous strokes… you think I would’ve learned a lesson about high blood pressure … donucha know….

Now I was quite a distance from the hospital so it took awhile to get all this done. And of course after I got to the hospital I waited quite a while more, and I got worse the longer I was there it got to the point, I couldn’t move my legs, I was scared. Well it seemed to take a long time for them to figure out I was having a stroke. Now this took place in 2005 you would think they would know better! So they found me a bed and began to give me treat ments.

So, began my adventures in handicap living .

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know. Old Age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my father/mother!), but I don’t agonize over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend.
seniorcitizenhumor.blogspot.com/ -


I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. And Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 40 &50’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love … I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it).