Posts Tagged ‘Life goes on after stroke,’

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
‘How old was your husband?’ ‘98,’ she replied.
‘Two years older than me.’
‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented. !
She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?’

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
‘And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?’ the reporter asked.
She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’
Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’

I’ve sure gotten old!
I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I’m half blind,
can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God,
I still have my driver’s license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor’s permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed.
‘Why Wal-Mart?’
‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.’

My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: ‘Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’
Slim said, ‘I feel just like a newborn baby.’
‘Really!? Like a newborn baby?’
‘Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.’

Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It’s perfect.’
‘Really,’ answered the neighbor. ‘What kind is it?’
‘Twelve thirty’, he replied.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%. He went back in a month and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again..’
The gentleman replied, ‘Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!’

These days about half the stuff
in my shopping cart says,
‘For fast relief.’

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.

Since I have come to live in in the convalescent home  I have had to learn many new things.  Since my last stroke in 2005 I have much difficulty getting everything to move around on my body.  At first I couldn’t even speak clearly, but after much speach therapy I got  better.  I still have trouble , but I have gotten used to the different feeling.  To See what this was like  just pretend sometime  that you can’t move around.  All of the things, you used to do  you now can’t do.  The thought is very scary.  Basically that’s what happens when you have a stroke.  One of the things people don’t realize about a stroke is you have to change your thinking.  As you once moved around without giving it a thought  now requires a great deal of thought and attention to move certain parts of your body.

In fact you have to relearn completely new steps inside your mind to move around.  God  has given us a great machine called the brain.  Believe it or not, you can actually re-program  things that have been damaged.  As for myself, I have chosen to do this. This thinking requires a great deal of effort .  Typically we are not programmed to do this.  So, those who are helping you need to be patient and understanding with you.

I heartily recommend this attitude.  This challenge gives your mind something to focus on.  Mentally, you begin to realize that you can be in control again.  Now, granted the control is not what you are used to having but it is the beginning of a great life adventure.

Check out this Kingston Data Plug in Thumb Drive, so easy to use and so well made!

I had to write about this product because it is so fantastic.  Now, I come from a generation of album makers to keep track of and look at the pictures.  I can probably count on one hand, how many times I would go into look at an album.  I was just a busy guy, and I didn’t take time to do that. [i know, i know pretty lame!]

I got a digital photo frame for christmas . I found that it was very easy to transfer pictures to a thumb drive and put it on display.  So, I asked my relatives to please e-mail me pictures.  The reason I am writing about this now  is  this has  taken a while for them to get used to the idea.  I have my frame on my dresser so I can see it all the time.  Even though I’m in a convalescent home  I feel quite close to my children and grandchildren.  I don’t have a storage problem that a bunch of albums would be.  Also, it is quite handy for me to see.
Coby DP-758 7-Inch Widescreen Digital Photo Frame

Yes, these can be expensive.  But if you shop around a bit and you can find  good deals.  As far as I am concerned, this product truly is wonderful.

I had a very hard time on Tuesday, January 20.  I am a conservative Christian.  I believe in the Bible and I try to do what it tells me and as I watched the inauguration I felt anger.  I didn’t feel anger at Obama, or his family.  But I am disappointed….  In the Democrats.
Coby DP-758 7-Inch Widescreen Digital Photo Frame

You see I was born in 1938.  By 1948 I was only 10 years old.  So, I was a teenager in the 1950s.  That was when Ike was running for president.  My dad always worked hard.  He came home from the Pacific theater of World War II and had to find a job.  Now  We were not a wealthy family.  This was before TV was king.  Radio is what everyone listened to.  I studied hard and tried to learn the importance of voting.  I was not a real bright kid so I  did not  understand politics at all.  My dad taught me “A workmen is worthy of this hire” so I had that drilled into my character at an early age.  Along with this my dad taught me about   honesty, keeping my word, and following through on my promises.

This is how I grew up. There was just one telephone, and it was on the wall.  You had to stand up to talk on it.  There were no fast food restaurants, we had our meal at home, around the table.  We talked to one another about our day , and I ate what was put before me.  I was quite interested in Donald Duck, and Bugs Bunny, comic books, and saved them seriously.  I can remember trading comics like crazy.  Now of course this was before TV.  So we kept busy doing other things, using our imagination.

When I turned 16  I learned to drive in a 1953 Chevrolet standard transmission on the steering wheel, using a clutch.  Much to my fathers relief, the high school taught me how to drive.

People had become very independent.  I note this was an offshoot of World War II.  I was always encouraged to be independent.  People mostly took care of themselves.  I think you can see why I’m disappointed at the way things are going.  I come from a different generation, with different values.  However, I am determined to continue on with what I have been taught until my days are  over.  Thank you for reading… Vic