Posts Tagged ‘seasons in life,’

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George Carlin’s Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80′s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

Two-meal diet aids in oldest man’s longevity

By Sydne George, Great Falls (Mont.) Tribune
GREAT FALLS, Mont. — So what does the world’s oldest man eat?

9-24-09

Walter Breuning, who turned 113 on Monday, eats just two meals a day and has done so for the past 35 years.

“I think you should push back from the table when you’re still hungry,” Breuning said.

At 5 foot 8, (“I shrunk a little,” he admitted) and 125 pounds, Breuning limits himself to a big breakfast and lunch every day and no supper.

“I have weighed the same for about 35 years,” Breuning said. “Well, that’s the way it should be.”

His practice of skipping supper began when he first moved to Great Falls from Minneapolis in 1978. He lived in the Yellowstone Apartments at the time and would walk downtown to Schell’s in the Johnson Hotel or the Albon Club on the second floor for lunch.

In 1980, the Albon Club moved to the Rainbow Hotel, and the owners asked Breuning to be manager, which he did for 15 years.

“I never started eating supper again,” Breuning said.

He gets up at 6:15 a.m. and has a big breakfast every day at 7:30 a.m. Usually it’s eggs, toast or pancakes.

“I eat a lot of fruit every day.”

And he drinks plenty of water.

“I drink water all the time,” he said, and just a bit of coffee. “I drink a cup and a half of coffee for breakfast and a cup with lunch.”

Breuning said he has been healthy all of his life and believes diet has a lot to do with it.

“If people could cut back on their normal weight, it wouldn’t be quite so bad,” he commented. “They just eat too much!”

Breuning remembers his family having a cow, pigs, chickens and a big garden when he was growing up, like most people did in those days.

“Everybody was poor years ago,” he said. “When we were kids, we ate what was on the table. Crusts of bread or whatever it was. You ate what they put on your plate, and that’s all you got,” Breuning said.

While diet has contributed to his longevity, Breuning also believes that working hard was good for him.

“Work doesn’t hurt anybody,” he said, mentioning that he had two jobs, one working for the Great Northern Railway until he was 66 and the other as manager/secretary for the local Shriner’s Club until he was 99.

These days, Breuning keeps busy talking with all of the people who visit the Rainbow Retirement Center interested in meeting the world’s oldest man.

Though his vision doesn’t allow him to read anymore, Breuning keeps his mind active by listening to the radio.

“My eyes are gone,” he said, “but I listen to the radio. I get all my news on KMON.”

Breuning started eating out 35 years ago, but said he doesn’t anymore.

“Once you get used to not eating in restaurants, you don’t want to anymore,” he said. Besides, he’d rather eat at home, at the Rainbow Retirement Center.

“They have a lot of good food right here,” he said, “and good cooks.”

Breuning celebrated his 113th birthday with not one, but two cakes, one chocolate and one vanilla. And for his birthday lunch he got his favorite: liver and onions.