Test for Dementia

A friend sent me this one..funny!
“It’s that time of year to take your “Annual Senior Citizen test.”
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert. If you don’t use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to test your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you’re losing it or not. The large spaces below are so you don’t see the answers until you’ve made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: “bread.” If you said “toast,” give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say “silk” five times. Now spell “silk.” What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said “milk,” don’t attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said “water”, proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said “green bricks,” why are you still reading these???

If you said “glass,” go on to Question 4.

4. It’s twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack-dab in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany. “Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man’s land”?

Answer: You don’t bury survivors.

If you said ANYTHING else, you’re a dunce and you must stop NOW! If you said, “You don’t bury survivors”, proceed to the next question.

5. Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales… In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on… In Sweden, two people get off and four get on… InCardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on… In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on… In Carmarthen, six people get off and three get on… You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: “Oh, for crying out loud!”

Don’t you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.

It’s a new thing becoming handicapped.

It’s a new thing becoming handicapped.

For my handicapped readers, I thought I would tell you a bit about me. I found handicapped in 2005. I suffered a stroke. One day I was fine, and the next day I was handicapped. It took me many months to move on from feeling desperately worthless to become anything that I was going to make something of this new life. I thought that the results of this stroke would be over soon. I know, I know, you must think I’m crazy!

It’s now 2011…[6 years later]… yeah here I am writing.

I wanted to tell you what has helped me. First and foremost God himself. My daughter encourages me so much. Her children too have accepted me just the way I am. I live in a convelsent home because I can’t walk and need constant care. The staff here has become my second family. I see my daughter at least once a week.

I am making progress in my life. I am thankful for what I have. Please don’t give up.

kids and computors

kids and computors

this documentry is from public TV and is most interesting. I have watched it three times so far….Vic

http://www.netflix.com/WiPlayer?movieid=70131661&trkid=1211017

When Insults Had Class

these are really funny..vic

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.”

He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

“”He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” – Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second…. if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain
“He use statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening.But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx

It's new thing be coming handicapped. part 1

For my handicapped readers, I thought I would tell you a bit about me. I found handicapped in 2005. I suffered a stroke. One day I was fine, and the next day I was handicapped. It took me many months to move on from feeling desperately worthless to become anything that I was going to make something of this new life. I thought that the results of this stroke would be over soon. I know, I know, you must think I’m crazy!

It’s now 2010…[5 years later]… yeah here I am writing. I wanted to tell you what has helped me. First and foremost God himself. My daughter encourages me so much. Her children too have accepted me just the way I am. I live in a convelsent home because I can’t walk and need constant care but I see them at least once a week.

I found out that the more I work on my problem IT GETS EASIER to cope with it. I used to like to shop and now I shop on Amazon. I never have to leave my desk. I have to exercise every day..[use it or loose it].

I used to drive everywhere. Of course now that I’ve had a stroke I can’t do that. I do miss that. I started driving a 16 and now I am
72.

When Insults Had Class

I received this in my e-mail…..Vic

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.”

He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

“”He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” – Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second…. if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain
“He use statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening.But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx

the real world

this cartoon says it all…vic

Michael Ramirez

healthcare…alice in wonderland

Thomas sowell hits this whole health care thing on the head!

Thomas Sowell: Alice in health care
By: Thomas Sowell
Examiner Columnist
March 1, 2010

Most discussions of health care are like something out of Alice in Wonderland.

What is the biggest complaint about the current medical care situation? “It costs too much.” Yet one looks in vain for anything in the pending legislation that will lower those costs.

One of the biggest reasons for higher medical costs is that somebody else is paying those costs, whether an insurance company or the government. What is the politicians’ answer? To have more costs paid by insurance companies and the government.

Back when the “single payer” was the patient, people were more selective in what they spent their own money on. You went to a doctor when you had a broken leg but not necessarily every time you had the sniffles or a skin rash. But, when someone else is paying, that is when medical care gets over-used — and bureaucratic rationing is then imposed, to replace self-rationing.

Money is just one of the costs of people seeking more medical care than they would if they were paying for it with their own money. Both waiting lines and waiting lists grow longer when people with sniffles and minor skin rashes take up the time of doctors, while people with cancer are waiting.

In country after country, the original estimates of government medical care costs almost always turn out to be gross under-estimates of what it ultimately turns out to cost.

Even when the estimates are done honestly, they are based on how much medical care people use when they are paying for it themselves. But having someone else pay for medical care virtually guarantees that a lot more of it will be used.

Nothing would lower costs more than having each patient pay those costs. And nothing is less likely to happen.

One of the big costs that have actually forced some hospitals to close is the federal mandate that hospitals treat everyone who comes to an emergency room, whether they pay or not. But those who talk about “bringing down the cost of medical care” are not about to repeal that mandate. Often they want to add more mandates.

The most fundamental issue is not whether treating everyone who comes to an emergency room is a good policy or a bad policy in itself. If it is a good policy, then the federal government should pay for what it wants done, not force other institutions to pay for it. Then let the voters decide at the next election whether that is what they want their tax money spent for.

Confusion between costs and prices add to the Alice in Wonderland sense of unreality.

What is called lowering the costs is simply refusing to pay all the costs, by having the government set lower prices, whether for doctors’ fees, hospital reimbursements or other charges. Surely no one believes that there will be no repercussions from refusing to pay for what we want. Some doctors are already refusing to accept Medicare or Medicaid patients because the government’s reimbursement levels are so low.

Similarly, if it costs a billion dollars to create one new pharmaceutical drug, then either we are going to pay the billion dollars or we are not going to keep on getting new pharmaceutical drugs produced. There is no free lunch.

Virtually everything that is proposed by those who are talking about bringing down the costs of medical care will in fact raise those costs. Mandates on insurance companies? Why are insurance companies not already doing those things that new mandates would require? Because those things raise costs by an amount that people are unwilling to pay to get those benefits.

If not, it would be a slam dunk for the insurance companies to add those benefits to the policies and raise the premiums to cover them. What politicians want to do is look good by imposing mandates, and then let the insurance companies look bad by raising the premiums to cover the additional costs.

It is a great political game, but it does nothing to lower medical costs.

Politicians who want a government monopoly on health insurance can easily get it, just by making it impossible for private insurance companies to charge enough to cover the costs mandated by politicians. The “public option” will then be the only option — which is to say, we will no longer have any real option.

Examiner Columnist Thomas Sowell is a senior fellow at the Hoover Institution and is nationally syndicated by Creators Syndicate.

Read more at the Washington Examiner: http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/columns/Thomas-Sowell-Alice-in-health-care-85919882.html#ixzz0h3EhsuuZ

old folks thots

This is going to be weird..

But, when many of were younger, we were taught certain things.
Obey your elders,
REspect those older then you,

Yes, I know Im in that generation now.  But I cant tell those younger then Myself to DO THIS anymore.
Its NOT that kids know TECH better then the elders.  Or any of that.
Our elders are SUPPOSED to protect us, teach us, help us LEARN and make us better.
All I see at this time, AS in the past during the religious revolts in Europe, is CORPORATE leadership that is NOT worried about the Consumer/the nation/anything EXCEPT money..
Profit margins have Soared..
Upper wages have gone to the MOON and back..
Those in charge are the Con men of the 60’s and 70’s..
These folks have instigated the changing of LAWS and made BACK DOORS into our pocket books and taxes.
I dont even need to mention ACTA, and trade agreements be done in Back rooms and under the NOSES of our own congress, to be made into LAWS.
LAWS that Threaten your PRIVACY, and the corps dont PAY for the prosecution, YOU DO.  YOU are paying to be searched at the borders for Pirated Movies and music.  They HAVE the right to take ANY electronic device to be SCANNED and used against you.  Insted of FIXING THEIR PROBLEM of making a better distribution system.
WE are PAYING the corps thru our TAXES not to go BROKE, because they SPENT all the money, on WAGES.
We might as well be run by the Mafia.  and its WORSE then being run by the Mafia.

Have fun with this, its just STUPID how our Corps are taking over the world, and WE PAY FOR IT.

Handicap Adventures

adventures-wheelchair

Since I have come to live in in the convalescent home  I have had to learn many new things.  Since my last stroke in 2005 I have much difficulty getting everything to move around on my body.  At first I couldn’t even speak clearly, but after much speach therapy I got  better.  I still have trouble , but I have gotten sorta used to the different feeling.  To See what this was like  just pretend sometime  that you can’t move around.  All of the things, you used to do  you now can’t do.
especialy going to the bathroom  The thought is very scary.  Basically that’s what happens when you have a stroke.  One of the things people don’t realize about a stroke is you have to change your thinking.  As you once moved around without giving it a thought  now requires a great deal of thought and attention to move certain parts of your body.

In fact you have to relearn completely new steps inside your mind to move around.  God  has given us a great machine called the brain.  Believe it or not, you can actually re-program  things that have been damaged.  As for myself, I have chosen to do this. This thinking requires a great deal of effort .  Typically we are not programmed to do this.  So, those who are helping you need to be patient and understanding with you.

I heartily recommend this attitude.  This challenge gives your mind something to focus on.  Mentally, you begin to realize that you can be in control again.  Now, granted the control is not what you are used to having but it is the beginning of a great life adventure.

Coffee may be good for you!!!

I’m allways on the look out for interesting things….and I came accross this! Many of us truly enjoy a good cup of coffee, [mine is PEETs]….
Coffee May Prevent Dementia

By Jane Collingwood

May 4, 2009

Further evidence has come to light that drinking coffee may have a protective effect against dementia. Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease are common problems in the elderly population. Although research is improving our knowledge of the underlying biology of these disorders, we still have little understanding of the “modifiable” risk factors.

Caffeine has been suggested to have a protective effect against dementia. This new study comes from the University of Kuopio, Finland and the Karolinska Institutet in Stockholm, Sweden. Dr. Miia Kivipelto and colleagues are involved in the ongoing Cardiovascular Risk Factors, Aging and Dementia (CAIDE) study. The team looked at figures from 1,409 adults aged 65 to 79 who had been followed for an average of 21 years. Of these, 61 had been diagnosed with dementia. Daily coffee consumption was categorized into low (0-2 cups), moderate (3-5 cups) and high (more than five cups).

Results showed that moderate coffee drinkers had a 65 percent lower risk for dementia and Alzheimer’s disease later in life than the other groups. Tea consumption was categorized into not drinking tea versus drinking tea. But tea drinking was relatively uncommon, and showed no links with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.

WOW…

for us older fans

Reynolds Unwrapped

this is me…only 40 yrs old mentaly

Pluggers

Aging

George Carlin’s Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

Be a surprise to someone today!

Red and Rover

Old folks humor

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
‘How old was your husband?’ ’98,’ she replied.
‘Two years older than me.’
‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented. !
She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?’

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
‘And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?’ the reporter asked.
She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’
Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’

I’ve sure gotten old!
I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I’m half blind,
can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God,
I still have my driver’s license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor’s permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed.
‘Why Wal-Mart?’
‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.’

My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: ‘Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’
Slim said, ‘I feel just like a newborn baby.’
‘Really!? Like a newborn baby?’
‘Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.’

Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It’s perfect.’
‘Really,’ answered the neighbor. ‘What kind is it?’
‘Twelve thirty’, he replied.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%. He went back in a month and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again..’
The gentleman replied, ‘Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!’

These days about half the stuff
in my shopping cart says,
‘For fast relief.’

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.

113 yr. old man uses 2 meal a day diet

Two-meal diet aids in oldest man’s longevity

By Sydne George, Great Falls (Mont.) Tribune
GREAT FALLS, Mont. — So what does the world’s oldest man eat?

9-24-09

Walter Breuning, who turned 113 on Monday, eats just two meals a day and has done so for the past 35 years.

“I think you should push back from the table when you’re still hungry,” Breuning said.

At 5 foot 8, (“I shrunk a little,” he admitted) and 125 pounds, Breuning limits himself to a big breakfast and lunch every day and no supper.

“I have weighed the same for about 35 years,” Breuning said. “Well, that’s the way it should be.”

His practice of skipping supper began when he first moved to Great Falls from Minneapolis in 1978. He lived in the Yellowstone Apartments at the time and would walk downtown to Schell’s in the Johnson Hotel or the Albon Club on the second floor for lunch.

In 1980, the Albon Club moved to the Rainbow Hotel, and the owners asked Breuning to be manager, which he did for 15 years.

“I never started eating supper again,” Breuning said.

He gets up at 6:15 a.m. and has a big breakfast every day at 7:30 a.m. Usually it’s eggs, toast or pancakes.

“I eat a lot of fruit every day.”

And he drinks plenty of water.

“I drink water all the time,” he said, and just a bit of coffee. “I drink a cup and a half of coffee for breakfast and a cup with lunch.”

Breuning said he has been healthy all of his life and believes diet has a lot to do with it.

“If people could cut back on their normal weight, it wouldn’t be quite so bad,” he commented. “They just eat too much!”

Breuning remembers his family having a cow, pigs, chickens and a big garden when he was growing up, like most people did in those days.

“Everybody was poor years ago,” he said. “When we were kids, we ate what was on the table. Crusts of bread or whatever it was. You ate what they put on your plate, and that’s all you got,” Breuning said.

While diet has contributed to his longevity, Breuning also believes that working hard was good for him.

“Work doesn’t hurt anybody,” he said, mentioning that he had two jobs, one working for the Great Northern Railway until he was 66 and the other as manager/secretary for the local Shriner’s Club until he was 99.

These days, Breuning keeps busy talking with all of the people who visit the Rainbow Retirement Center interested in meeting the world’s oldest man.

Though his vision doesn’t allow him to read anymore, Breuning keeps his mind active by listening to the radio.

“My eyes are gone,” he said, “but I listen to the radio. I get all my news on KMON.”

Breuning started eating out 35 years ago, but said he doesn’t anymore.

“Once you get used to not eating in restaurants, you don’t want to anymore,” he said. Besides, he’d rather eat at home, at the Rainbow Retirement Center.

“They have a lot of good food right here,” he said, “and good cooks.”

Breuning celebrated his 113th birthday with not one, but two cakes, one chocolate and one vanilla. And for his birthday lunch he got his favorite: liver and onions.

Thot for the week

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Do you work in sales? Thank you.

from the September 09, 2009 edition – http://www.csmonitor.com/
Do you work in sales? Thank you.
No matter what the rest of us do all day, our paychecks and prosperity rely on the efforts of salespeople.
By Mark Lange

San Francisco

Had enough of the recession? Next time somebody pitches you something – whether or not you open your wallet – at least say thanks.

Because economic growth is a story we tell one another. Transactions are its dialogue. And the authors of both are the master storytellers: salespeople.

Before you tune out, consider this: Nothing happens until somebody sells someone something. And no matter what the rest of us do all day, our paychecks and prosperity rely on the efforts of salespeople.

At some level, of course, everyone sells. Authors and academics (if they hope to have impact), the yard guy across the street, the young woman shilling for Greenpeace in front of Target, even President Obama. None of us succeeds without applying the art of influence, in the best sense.

But front-line, all-day salespeople are the connective tissue between what we have and what we need. Their work demands a rare mix of audacity and humility, hope and realism. They take rejection and abuse that would crush the spirits of most. Yet they bounce back with the resilience of Tigger and the patience of Job.

While political campaigns come and go, salespeople practice the politics of hope every day. They live by faith – faith that someone, somewhere needs what they have.

Everyone else in an organization can grumble and grouse, play office politics, soak in a bath of righteous cynicism. Salespeople don’t have time for that. They only get paid when somebody outside the cubicle cocoon is moved to act and demonstrate one of the truest measures of trust – parting with their money.

The good ones, along with intellect, have impressive integrity. They focus on your interests, not theirs, because they know that if they’re clear about yours, their own will follow.

Rather than spray you with words, they ask you questions, and listen carefully to what you’re really saying. They bring your authentic interests into sharper focus.

They really don’t want to waste your time, because they make a living on theirs.

thot for the week

“It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.”

James Thurber