you too, can retire in comfort

I got this from a friend

With the average cost for a nursing home reaching $188 per day for a semi private room, there is a better way when we get old and feeble. We have already

 

checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined

 

long-term stay discount and senior discount, it’s $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for breakfast, lunch, dinner in any restaurant we want, or

 

room service. It also will leave enough for laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies. Plus, we get a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, and washer

 

and dryer. We’ll also get free

 

toothpaste, razors, shampoo and soap. And we’ll be treated like a customer, not a patient.

 

Five dollars worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling.

 

There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.

 

The handicap bus will also pick us up if we fake a decent limp. Ride the church bus free on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport

 

shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere.

 

Meanwhile, the cash keeps building up.

 

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. On the other hand, Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever

 

— you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to

 

city.

 

Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there, too.

 

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.

 

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks if you are OK. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you

 

fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip,

 

and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

 

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to visit you, and probably check in for a mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool.

 

What more can you ask for?

 

Here are even more benefits that Holiday Inn provides retirees. Most standard rooms have coffee makers, reclining chairs, and satellite TV — all you need

 

to

 

enjoy a cozy afternoon.

 

After a movie and a good nap, you can check on your children (free local phone calls), then take a stroll to the lounge or restaurant where you meet new

 

and exotic people every day.

 

Many Holiday Inns even feature live entertainment on the weekends.

 

Often they have special offers, too, like the Kids Eat Free program. You can invite your grandkids over after school to have a free dinner with you.

 

Just tell them not to bring more than three friends.

 

Pick a Holiday Inn where they allow pets, and your best friend can keep you company as well. If you want to travel, but are a bit skittish about unfamiliar

 

surroundings, you’ll always feel at home because wherever you go, the rooms all look the same. And if you’re getting a little

 

absent-minded in your old days, you never have to worry about not finding your room — your electronic key fits only one door and the

 

helpful bellman or desk clerk is on duty 24/7.

 

Being natural skeptics, we called a Holiday Inn to check out the feasibility of this plan. We’re happy to report that they were positively giddy at the

 

idea of folks checking in for a year or more. They even offered to negotiate the rate. We could have easily knocked them down to $40 a night!

 

So, when we reach the golden age we can face it with a grin.

 

Just forward all your emails to the Holiday Inn!

 

Does any one want to join us? Holiday Inn may even give group rates. We might get the price knocked down even more.

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